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Your average fish out of water - Safer Sex

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October 5th, 2010


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12:02 am - Safer Sex
Dear Gentle Reader -

Considering that I am in an open relationship, discussions about safer sex come up now and then. Its kind of interesting the built in preconceptions, rules, and boundaries each person assumes is the norm for said safe sex.

Some think safe is all latex covered everything. No oral, no touching, no nothing. Some are more OK with oral, but not genital to genital contact. Some are only concerned with pregnancy, and some dont even use condoms at all and simply work on the 'I get tested' method.

More interestingly, I have found that each persons perception of how clean a new partner probably is, will make their idea of safer sex fluctuate.

Then, of course, there are the conflicting statistics that you can pull up on the web to confuse the issue and make considering having any kind of sex a nightmare of apocalyptic proportions.

So my friends, I ask you - what is YOUR version of safer sex?

Know what  - I think this might need a wider audience input, so I am going to make it public for a few days. If it interests you feel free to link to it and share in a discussion.

I will enable anonymous posting for the duration of the public post, so BEHAVE YOURSELVES everyone who decides to play along. Don't make me pull this blog over and turn it around!
Current Mood: curiouscurious
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(7 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:ser_kai
Date:October 5th, 2010 10:18 am (UTC)
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We use condoms with non primary or very STD nervous partners. We don't sleep with anyone new unless there is a very, very good chance they're clean (Jamie has slept with 5 women ever, 2 in his teens and it had been a long time since he'd slept with his last ex-- he's very, very selective) and after a getting to know you period. We like to be thoroughly tested at least every six months if possible. I have had difficulty getting tested of late (stoopid government) so I'm hyper vigilant about any symptoms, only sleep with Ja (& Je when he's in the country) anyway and get tested for Chlamydia(most common) and HIV(duh).

I would dearly love to go back to full testing but it isn't really possible right now. Besides, I'm physically monogamous for the time being.
[User Picture]
From:mermaidnchains
Date:October 5th, 2010 01:29 pm (UTC)
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In using condoms do you also use them with Oral sex? You do not have to answer, its just part of the curious diversity of people. :)
[User Picture]
From:ser_kai
Date:October 5th, 2010 01:38 pm (UTC)
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No but as sexual partners have to wait and as I'm reasonably selective (noone I haven't known for some months/years and generally in my social circle), I don't really see that as a problem.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:October 5th, 2010 03:38 pm (UTC)

Safer Sex ...

(Link)
To be honest I've never really looked too closely into all the different ways that safe/er sex could be practiced ... My main thought has always been to avoid pregnancy counting on those measures (condoms) to prevent any other problems. This question, however, brings up some very interesting ideas. Ones that I will have to discuss with my primary as well as with any other partners that I may or may not have in the future. While I've known those who use the fingers crossed method of safe sex (Crosses fingers and hopes that this partner is safe) I know that even in a so called monogamous relationship there are still STI risks. (The one and only bout I've ever had with one was from my, now, ex wife)

If the point of a barrier method of prevention of fluid transfer is what is deemed to be THE way to prevent STIs why are barriers not used during ALL times that fluids might be exchanged (ie. kissing, and as mentioned above oral)

To me I guess, that prevention involves both myself and my partners being tested regularly and being open about who, and what has been done.
[User Picture]
From:mermaidnchains
Date:October 5th, 2010 07:42 pm (UTC)

Re: Safer Sex ...

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I would find it difficult to conduct a romance with a condom in my mouth for kissing. How about the rest of you readers?
[User Picture]
From:polymexina
Date:October 19th, 2010 06:59 pm (UTC)

Re: Safer Sex ...

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Mind if I link to this?
[User Picture]
From:mermaidnchains
Date:October 20th, 2010 04:10 am (UTC)

Re: Safer Sex ...

(Link)
Feel free. :)

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